There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium,
And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium,
And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium,
Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium,
And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium,
And gold and protactinium and indium and gallium, (gasp)
And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium.

There's yttrium, ytterbium, actinium, rubidium,
And boron, gadolinium, niobium, iridium,
And strontium and silicon and silver and samarium,
And bismuth, bromine, lithium, beryllium, and barium.

Isn't that interesting?
I knew you would.
I hope you're all taking notes, because there's going to be a short quiz next period...

There's holmium and helium and hafnium and erbium,
And phosphorus and francium and fluorine and terbium,
And manganese and mercury, molybdenum, magnesium,
Dysprosium and scandium and cerium and cesium.
And lead, praseodymium and platinum, plutonium,
Palladium, promethium, potassium, polonium,
And tantalum, technetium, titanium, tellurium, (gasp)
And cadmium and calcium and chromium and curium.

There's sulfur, californium and fermium, berkelium,
And also mendelevium, einsteinium, nobelium,
And argon, krypton, neon, radon, xenon, zinc and rhodium,
And chlorine, carbon, cobalt, copper, tungsten, tin and sodium.

These are the only ones of which the news has come to Hahvard,
And there may be many others but they haven't been discahvered.

...Son of a bitch. Zhe shi shen me lan dong xi?

I did something wrong in a past life, didn't I? This has to be some kind of retroactive payback on the universe's part. Or proof that whatever ba wang came up with this particular day can claim the title of "Even more sadistic than Malcolm Reynolds."

Ugh. I'd take a shower, in hopes of washing away the feeling of how very wrong this is, but purposely seeing Jayne naked is too high up on my list of Things That Might Make Me Go Blind.

((OOC: Zhe shi shen me lan dong xi? = What is this garbage?; ba wang = tyrant. Somebody's aaaaaaaaaaaangry. XD))

Wo de ma he ta de fen kuang de wai sheng dou, I'm really curious. When did it sound like a good plan to you to get River drunk? Do you have any idea what kind of danger you were putting her in?

...Mei-mei, we need to go into the infirmary today so I can give you an examination and then we're having a talk about the evils of alcohol. Meds don't generally mix too well with booze, and I need to make sure you aren't going to suffer any lasting damage from this little episode.

((OOC: ...Somebody's not happy. ^^;;; Also, unaffected by the curse today--if he was, he'd be incapacitated.))

Bickering over the network? Can you all become more childish?

Ni men dou bi zui!

I'm...not very good at talking to girls.

...Anyone, really, but especially girls.

((OOC: It feels like shooting fish in a barrel, really, but I saw the curse and I couldn't resist. ^^;;;))

[Begin Voice Post]

[The voice that comes on is slow and slurred-sounding.]

...Where'm I? This a hoshpital? Haven't been in one'a them in a long time...as a doctor, 'least.

...Ohhhhhh, s'a ship. Wha'm I doin' on a ship?

...I need a drink. My head's killin' me. Anyone got'ny sake they wanna share...?

[There's a pause, and a small gasp.]

B-b-b-b-but--wha're you here for, River? You're at...at that guai of a school, I couldn't...they were hurting you, an' I still...

...S'the delirium tremens, isn't it? Feels like'm, like spiders crawlin' on m'arms. I need a drink. You're not real, mei mei. Unless s'your ghost...

[End Voice Post]

( ooc )

This again?

...If we could just skip all the questions that have anything to do with incest this time? I'd appreciate it. In fact, I could answer them all for you right now: I'm not romantically involved with my sister, I never have been, and I'm not going to be in the future.

You're all lunatics.

You've already killed one woman, and what do you have to show for it? There's no less evil here or anywhere else, and that won't change whether you murder one more person or a dozen. They're innocent people! Even if they have done something wrong, their deaths won't do anything but add you to the list of guilty parties.

God's will doesn't have anything to do with this. The only will any of you are acting on is your own.

( {Private to River // visible to the rest of the Firefly crew // unhackable} )

((OOC: Official Witch Sympathizer? If anything should happen to River, though, he will be planning on going down with her. D:))

Well, I reckon my black bag's growin' a little empty. Time to mosey into town and get me some supplies 'fore someone decides it's high time for a shootout at the corral.

Miz Kaylee, care to join me?

((OOC: Still his doctory self, except now he's got a cadence to his speech. And he's dressed like Doc Holliday here...but wait, that's not hardly different at all. XD))

...If anyone's sick or injured, they're on their own today. I'd rather shoot myself in the foot than turn the lights on a second time.

River, you didn't drink too much yesterday, did you? If you did, the alcohol could have interfered with your medication...